Filed under: General, Satire | Tags: Blogging, Comedy, Funny, Humor, Ignorance, Life, People, reading, Satire, Video Games, Writing
I wrote this back in April (but I edited it a little bit.)
Y’know what drives the thousands of hair pegs off my arms? People who say they dislike reading. It’s like listening to a bunch of cats scream at night — it’s annoying, harmonious and monotonous. It’s the same thing all the time with no revelations to add to the same excuse. “Oh, I don’t like reading because it doesn’t interest me.” What about it does not interest you? You read every single day. Whether it’s from an advertisement, stupid horse excrement-esque things you read on the bottom of television screens, or obviously from what you read on the computer. If you still believe that reading isn’t for you, then you must be incredibly illiterate or incredibly stupid.
But don’t worry, bucko, it’s not indelible!
Y’know what may surprise you about me? I’m not an advocate of video games. Sure, I play every now and then (once every three to four months maybe). I have an Xbox 360. I have an Xbox Live account. I only play when one of my friends asks me too — and that’s not often, though it’s the time that I play that hinges my decision over what game and what mood I’m in. Video games bore me to death; they’re predictable. The same thing in almost every genre in that said genre’s category that you’d predict from it. I never got anything out of video games. Maybe quick fingers to use on keyboards to type (but still yet I don’t even type correctly — I only use three fingers on both hands each; my thumb, index and middle finger — and I’m an avid user of that middle finger, buddy), but who cares, y’know? I never got anything instilled in my mind from it. Maybe the intermittent excitement, but what else? Senile enjoyment, probably.
Man, I probably sound like Hitler and video games are Jews (OK, that was a comment that could turn me into a polarizing figure around here, so take it with a grain of salt and not of anything insulting).
Call me a nerd, but I’m a 6′3, 198 lb. muscular dude. Even then, I’m not a huge athlete even though I’m a big time sports fanatic. My Mom is 5′6 and my Dad was 5′7 but somehow I managed to pull off a height of 6′3. Magic, y’know? What kind of 6′3, 198 lb. muscular dude enjoys reading books vicariously over video gaming? ME, BABY! It’s me, it’s me, it’s the un-nerdy 6′3, 198 lb. muscular dude in your face, ya see. (Idiotic rhyme, re-read it again and you’ll understand it. . . hopefully).
So, y’know, there’s something for everyone to read. It just takes a little effort — you’re not too allergic to effort are you, self-proclaimed ‘reading haters’? Let’s hope not. Step aside from the norm and be a little more productive in your own life why don’t ya?
Be more like Bekki and I, read a lot and augment your lexicon with every opportunity. It’s not hard. It’s actually very entertaining.
Filed under: Love | Tags: boyfriend, cute, definitely not, Funny, Love, Troy
Let me start out by saying that Troy Layne Sparks is delusional. He thinks that HE’S lucky to have me, when, in reality, I’M the lucky one to have him.
We met on Yahoo Answers. I don’t care if you think that’s “stupid” (or, in Troy’s words, “stepid” ;]), because it’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. I signed up one week when I was sick with some killer flu (or some shit like that–I don’t even remember. It was in January. 
) and I mostly “hung out” in the Books and Authors section. Everyone there was obsessed with this book called “Twilight” by Stephanie Meyer (except for me and a few other people). One day, I clicked on a question that said “Z0MyGAWdD WuT Sh0UlD I R3Add 4Ft3R I F!n!sH Tw!L!gH+ LAwlZ?!” (Okay, it wasn’t typed like that, but, whatever. Deal with it.). Some people listed a bunch of other books that were similar to that god-awful book twilight (I refuse to capitalize the name of it), but one answer, from a person named “Gonzo Celtic”, said “Read ‘I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell’.” I laughed about it and added him to my contacts. He added me back, and we didn’t really talk much until I started posting questions and he posted really long answers. One day, he added me to MySpace. Again, I didn’t really think much of it, and we didn’t talk much, until I decided to send him a comment that said “Team Edward or Team Jacob?” (The main “rivals” in Twilight. Please don’t ask.). He replied saying, “Team Edward or Team Jacob. Hm. I’d say I’m on board with Team Twilight Sucks, if I do say so. ” (I actually went into my comments and pulled that up, too. ). A few days later, he sent me this message called “That Twilight Junk”, telling me why he hated Twilight and why it was a stupid book. We got to talking, and we fell in love.
Some people say I’m crazy for having a long-distance relationship. I definitely do NOT agree. I trust Troy, and I love him with all my heart. I’ll never leave him, and I’m confident that he’ll never leave me. I can’t wait to physically be with him (right now we’re looking at 2011, but if it takes longer, that’s fine too. I’ll wait for him, I don’t care how long it takes. He’s more than worth it). It frustrates me that no one (except my best friend Lianna) takes us seriously, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I love him, he loves me, and that’s all that matters.
I love staying on the phone with him into all hours of the night. We talk about everything under the sun, from politics to Steve Carrell. Any other guy wouldn’t have stayed on the phone with me from 10:30 PM until 7:30 AM (and the only reason I got off then was because my parents were up!). I think it’s amazing that he never gets mad at me when I fall asleep on the phone (I’ve done that a few times, actually ). He calls me back, laughs it off, and calls me “sleepyhead”. He’s just so great, there’s no one else like him.
Another thing I love is the fact that he actually reads. I don’t know ANY guys who read just for the hell of it. I know several girls who read occasionally, but NO guys, so I was really impressed when he told me that he reads often. In fact, one of our first conversations was about the book “The Catcher in the Rye” by J.D. Salinger. He’ll never cease to amaze me.
He wrote in his entry about me that he loves the way I say “Definitely not”, “Oh My God”, “Really?” and “whatever”. Well, I love the way he says “beCAUSE”, “seen” (he says seen instead of saw, it’s so goddamn cute), “alright”, “host”, and “sure” (I say it like SHORE, he says it SHER. ). I love the way he impersonates everyone he knows, including me. 
I laugh so hard when I’m on the phone with him that my neighbors think I’m insane (although, according to him, I am insane, so “it’s all good in the hood”).
I love it when he tells me that he wants to marry me, have kids with me and grow old with me. It just melts my heart (in a good way!). Just like when he tells me that someday, my name will be “Mrs. Rebekka Ann Sparks”. I smile like a retard everytime he says that to me. Actually, no, I smile like a retard whenever I hear his voice. He will literally spend ten minutes telling me how much he loves me, and all the reasons why. I’ll literally kill myself if I ever lose him.
The thing that seperates Troy and I from all other couples is the fact that we trust and love each other. You see girls all the time getting mad because they think their boyfriend is cheating on them. Well, I don’t have to worry about that, because I KNOW that Troy will NEVER cheat on me, and I will NEVER cheat on him. Our love isn’t the spontaneous teenage love that happens everyday in America, no, it’s pure, strong, unchanging love. I know that sometimes, he gets nervous, because he thinks I’ll change, but I REALLY wish he wouldn’t worry about me, because I’m NOT going to change, and I know he won’t, either.
I think it’s funny how girls my age say that they “love” their boyfriends when they’ve only been with them a couple of days. I’ve been with Troy for two months on the 11th, and I can honestly say I love him with all my heart and soul. There is no one else I’d rather be with than him. I’ll wait for him.
