17 Hours

I’ve never been cheated on (or it’s the fact that I didn’t know it, but because it’s blatantly obvious to know when somebody is cheating, I’m 99.9 percent sure I’ve never been cheated on before), but many of my friends have been cheated on, and a couple have cheated on their significant others.

First and foremost, it’s the most moronic thing in the world. If someone were to even remotely consume the idea of cheating on somebody, they have to recognize that they have low self-esteem, low confidence, AND they don’t love the person they’re cheating on. I’ll break it down after I get through a little bit.

My cousin was married for about six years before her [now ex] husband, who had cheated on her for months, left her for another woman in December 2002/January 2003. I’m not going to get too far into the specifics. But I was 11 at the time, and I remember when my cousin came in to stay for days. She would be in the bathroom crying for hours (and my room is right beside the bathroom near the room she stayed in). It tore me to pieces, just to know how hurt she was, hearing her.

It was an inner-strength decision that day where I decided I’d never cheat on any girl I would date in the future, and I never have, nor will I ever.

Why would I? Of course, now, it’s obvious, because Bekki is the love of my life, but all things aside, speaking from before I met Bekki. Let’s say this is May 2008 and I’m talking to you. If I were to have lost interest in a girlfriend then, I wouldn’t keep it away from her and cheat on her, I’d break it off and tell her that the relationship wasn’t working out. It could be tough, but it’s the right thing to do. However, like I said, that isn’t going to happen now that I’ve found the love of my life (Bekki).

I think if somebody cheats, they are likely to do it again. My reason being is that I’ve seen it happen before all too many times. My cousin tried to get back into the relationship with her ex-husband, but he cheated on her again. I’ve had friends who have tried relationships again and the person who cheated on them cheated again.

I believe in the terminology “once a cheater, always a cheater” because of the fact itself. “What fact?” you ask? Well, look at everybody who has ever cheated. Can people change? Certainly. But it’s the unconscious mind that is detrimental. When people do something, they say in their conscious mind they won’t do it again, but their unconscious mind will take them away.

One of my best friends had a girlfriend a year or two ago that cheated on him. They were together for roughly around two years — showered each other with I love you’s all the time. Seemed perfect. Yet his girlfriend had NO confidence and a low self esteem.

What happened was, she cheated on him because she had, also, no self control, and she lost her mind at a party one night and had sex with some random guy. She apologized to him like crazy, and he took her back, not paying any heed to anything I told him.

She allegedly kept saying “I’m not going to cheat, I’m not going to cheat” over and over. Then, after telling some guy she met that she wasn’t interested, a week later the same said guy was banging the hell out of her.

Pretty cheap and whory, eh?

It’s just my belief that if somebody cheats, they’ll cheat again, because their mind will overpower them, and because they have NO confidence, self-esteem, or self-control, they can’t help but cheat. It’s pathetic.

Bekki and I hold the same mindset about this “once a cheater, always a cheater — you can’t forgive” type of deal. I know she wouldn’t, as we both trust each other completely, 100 percent. BUT if she ever did (again, not happening, though) cheat on me, I would never be able to take her back or even talk to her again because that’s the ultimate screw-you maneuver in life. It’s the same vice-versa. That’s why I don’t understand why people take other people back when they get screwed over. It doesn’t make any sense whatsoever.

When somebody cheats on their ‘lover’ and they still say they ‘love’ them, they are LYING. They didn’t in the first place or else they wouldn’t have cheated. You don’t fuck over somebody you supposedly love. The reason you cheated is because you felt unworthy and you lost interest in the first place.

It’s easy to tell when somebody is cheating: 1.) lack of interest, 2.) utter unhappiness, 3.) their heart stops beating 180 times per second when they talk to you or kiss you, 4.) they lose respect for you, 5.) they stop listening to you, 6.) you can hear their voice become shaky, 7.) they look away when talking to you, 8.) they always make excuses, 9.) they tell you ‘they need time’, and 10.) they stop caring, almost completely.

I don’t even want to be associated with cheaters. I lost a friend because he cheated on his girlfriend. I can’t tolerate that kind of ignorance. I think of the pain my cousin went through and it fills me with inordinate anger.

I’m a forgivable person, but I wouldn’t be able to forgive anybody, no matter who, if they were to cheat. It’s not a mistake — it’s a decision. A mistake is something you didn’t mean to do. A decision is something you decided to ensue on and not hold yourself back from doing.