Filed under: General | Tags: Annoyances, Blogging, frivolousness, Idiots, intentional annoyances, Morons, silliness
Going the Bekki route and knocking down a list.
1.) People who “think” they can write. Doesn’t bother me until they go around yelling aloud, “I’m a writer!” No you aren’t. I can easily tell when someone’s a terrible, pretentious writer pretending to be an accomplished one. It’s usually around the time that they ask me to read some of their terrible articles they have written. They can escape the major grammar issues and punctuation, but when they start blowing chunks at constructing a sentence or learning to piece together something that would be easy for Bekki or I to do, it’s obvious they’re faking it, y’know? This kind of goes into what I hate about people and their “but you can do it!” attitude. So what? I’m a writer. Big deal. You think I was born with this craft of knowledge about writing and sports? Hell to the no (even though my father was extremely crafty with his own leisure writing). I’ve read plenty of books, plenty of articles, plenty of everything. And nary an iota of dispair. So, like Lil Jon says in that idiotic rap song, read a book, junior, and build up those inexistent writing skills that you don’t have.
2.) People who stare at you dead in the face when you enter a room, and doesn’t stop staring until you sit down. What is the point of this? I know I’m just that damn fascinating, but come on.
3.) People who hate baseball
4.) People who brag about hating baseball to everyone they meet
5.) Idiots that — when they predict a game correctly and you didn’t — feel obliged to brag to you despite that they are one in the other thousands — even millions of people in this country — to pick that team to win. For the love of Larry Bird, act like you’ve lived over a day or two.
6.) Anyone who brag about anything for that matter. Everybody has stuff they COULD brag about; believe me, I have plenty. However, the wise and mature people know how to conduct themselves — too bad most people haven’t a clue.
(SIDE NOTE: Sorry, but I have to brag about one thing: I have the greatest girlfriend in the world.)
7.) People who think books are boring — what do you want the book to do, bark and flip over? Open it, read and use your mind.
8.) Posers
9.) People who don’t have a sense of humor.
10.) People who walk slow — y’know, it bothers me pretty badly. Unusually badly. I’m trying to get through the day and get things done. Unlike many, we who move on the go have a life to live, so for the love of Bill Russell, pick up the speed and have some mobility!
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: 50 Cent, Flo Rida, Hip Hop, Lil Jon, Lil Wayne, Mainstream Hip Hop, Mainstream Rap, Mims, Music, Ranting, Rants, Rap, Soulja Boy, T-Pain, TI
March 7, 2008 via my MySpace blog
Caveat: This post features several expletives. Barely edited.
The title’s a little rip off of Stephen Colbert’s “I Am America (And So Can You!)” book. (Comedic genius, I’m telling you.) I just admitted that. But, still, one day I plan to write a book featuring several of my lifetime basketball columns comprised in the title of “I Am The NBA (And So Can You!)”. But y’know, maybe I shouldn’t, because that’d relegate me to come off as an idiotic uncreative/unoriginal douchebag sportswriter, and I don’t want to don that senseless title, y’know? So I’ll commence on that journey when I get there. As for now, it’s time to ridicule my fellow white cracker brethren who listen to this bullshit that’s making a mockery of hip hop music.
I’m really annoyed at all the ignorant songs these rappers are putting out these days, while they’re calling it “music” by making a mockery of hip hop music.
Hip Hop is a genre, and rap is a category of it. For whatever reason, “crunk music” has popped out over the last few years and has burst out of its nascent self into a constant annoyance in the world of hip hop today.
Contrary to what you idiots that listen to that junk think, this shit that Lil Jon, Lil Wayne, all the other Lil bitches, Young Joc, Young Berg, all the other young sons of bitches, Mims, Soulja Boy, 50 Cent, Flo Rida and T-Pain are putting out IS NOT HIP HOP MUSIC.
It’s mainstream, being on the air so much. It’s popular. Therefore, it’s pop music. Pop. is the abbreviation for population, obviously, if you get what I’m saying. Yet, for some reason, all of this shit is being compiled, and according to a bunch of white dudes whom don’t know what the hell hip hop is, it’s the greatest thing since Tupac Shakir.
It’s pretty funny when you get over the part that pisses you off, too. African Americans/blacks (pick your word that you want to be politically correct because I’m tired of choosing and hate being ridiculed for using the one over the other) are the ones that are being stereotyped and are known as the “scapegoats” of Hip Hop’s demise. I don’t understand that, either. It’s the young, stupid ass, illiterate ignorant white teenage guys that are buying the music, downloading it or hyping it up so its on the radio and/or on television all the damn time. Can’t fault the brothers on that one.
If I took the time of day (which I don’t have), I could list hundreds of underground rappers that actually have the talent to be on the mainstream market to produce much better hip hop music compared to the said dumbshits I listed in the (two) above graph. Why is it that the guys that are working hard for what they do, a lot better? It’s because they actually have a background. They weren’t born sucking on billion dollars tits when they were babies. They didn’t have the upbringing or opportunities like the guys I listed have today, therefore they weren’t spoiled or have the money to get into it all and make it big. And, for once being said, maybe that’s a good thing. Since they shouldn’t be exposed to the money that will garner fame to their over-satiated minds.
Bitches n’ ho’s, bitches n’ hos — SHUT THE HELL UP! If I wanted to listen to “hip hop music” (again, it’s NOT hip hop) that repeated the same bullshit about throwing one-hundred dollar bills around like Pacman Jones, I’d write a “hip hop” song myself (in fact, I’ve made idiotic parodies of several stupid ass hip hop songs).
Hip Hop music isn’t about concocting a bunch of words together that appear to rhyme and labeling it hip hop ONLY beacuse it has a good beat. I would rather listen to a song that has great lyrics and meaning to it with a shitty beat than a song with shitty lyrics and an amazing beat.
Fact of the matter is, all this shit by Lil Jon and Lil Wayne and T.I. and all the other dumbasses, well, it’s DANCE MUSIC. It’s NOT hip hop. It’s the kind of music where you go to clubs and see drunk chicks shaking their asses to it, which motivates you to get the idea to attempt to take them home for one-night stands.
REAL hip hop music use to get people to think, use their mind and catch the full meaning of the song. Now, it’s only to fuck with your mind, practically brainwash you and trick you into thinking its music. It’s only a bunch of idiots who can’t rap yelling or making loud, obnoxious noises into the microphone. Yet, all of that nonsense they do, it augments their status and popularity.
And people wonder why society’s so f’ed up in the head.
Nas should preach it more — Hip Hop is dead. And everybody with a sufficient mind understands it.
Lil Jon is about the nerdiest dumbass in “Hip Hop” these days. He’s like the king of crunk music — he practically (and literally?) invented “crunk music.” Y’know, I could get a microphone and yell idiotic shit into it if I wanted to by yelling “yeah,” and “what” over and over, then yelling “let’s go, if you wanted, let’s get it, let’s go” (referring to the highly overrated pump-up song known as Let’s Go) over and over. But I won’t; I’d rather rub my eyes against barbwire for hours than take part in listening to stupid shit or diving into the hyperbole myself.
Lil Wayne sounds like a 12-13 year old that hasn’t fully experienced the journey of the “balls-to-drop” yet. He sounds like he hasn’t hit puberty yet. What the hell? Listen to one of his songs and you’ll see. What kind of shit is that? He’s a terrible rapper. I don’t even understand how he’s popular with a voice like that. Just goes to show that American has downgraded its level to allow more no-talent hasbeens like Lil Wayne (that’s not even a cool rapper name either) to take over.
And T.I. Where do I start? He’s gotten so damn dry the last two years. Most of his songs nearly have the same beat or the same type of feel to them. He and 50 Cent are one of the more unoriginal artists out there. T.I. just can’t stop writing lyrics about his fame and his bullshit upbringing in Atlanta (that he has an orgy over on every song). And 50, damn, he got his ass whipped by Kanye West in one of those futile CD battles that he’s too embarrassed to put anything else out. Most of his stuff has less quality than anything out there. T.I. and 50 are another clustered example of two no-talent dumbasses that put out the same type of music every CD. They’re like EA Sports with Madden — same junk every year, but still, people find it appealing.
Soulja Boy? This dude is right around my age and is writing this junk. “Crank Dat” was quite amusing for a week. Then it got stale. It’s a dance song. Not a hip hop song. And what’s with the song “Yah”? What the fuck is that shit? It’s a moron yelling “YAH BITCH YAH” every 20-25 seconds (probably even more than that in less intervals) with hardly any verses. And those verses usually contain the most nonsense stuff I’ve ever heard in my life. This kid hasn’t been through shit. He wasn’t born into the ghetto. He was born sucking on billionaire tits from the beginning, and benefited from being so damn rich that he eventually took the status to become a rapper. ANOTHER NO-TALENT DUMBASS.
I don’t even think I need to explain the rest of the said no talent fucktards that I listed. I’ve already explained enough. If you want to debate, let’s roll, but I doubt you can construct an argument to counter the debacle that hip hop has become, “homie.”
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Blogging, books, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Hell's Angels, Hunter S. Thompson, Journalism, reading, Schools, Writing
Considered this a masterpiece of a condensed rant. The school system is messed up in many ways, as I’ve ranted on in the past for several times about it. They’ll have teachers to force students to read the most awfullest bullshit that somebody had to of been high to have appended it to any literary category in the first place.
Hunter S. Thompson’s one of my favorite writers ever. His columns on ESPN.com’s Page 2 a few years ago were brilliant, the only reason I read Page 2 — I don’t even read it anymore unless Bill Simmons comes up with a new column, albeit I love the taglines at the top of the page as they’re pretty funny.
I read Hell’s Angels and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas in 2004-2005, shortly before his death. Those books are two great reads that would be admirable if schools would add them to their list of books for students to read in their English classes. But they won’t, because of these three reasons:
1.) His explicit writing may not be suitable for young students (hell, what gives?)
2.) Thompson was an avid drinker of alcohol and occasionally smoked marijuana.
. . .
3.) Thompson committed suicide by a self-inflicted gun shot in February 2005.
Number one, I can maybe see a reason why schools don’t appreciate his work as much as the major consensus does. However, two and three shouldn’t deign his brilliant work and masterful art of literature. It’s BS. I never read anything worthwhile while I was in high school (albeit I still have the rest of this year left), but I hope teens of the future will have the chance to read valuable literature so they don’t become ignorant of all the great stuff that’s out there.
Filed under: General | Tags: Blogging, Hunter S. Thompson, Journalism, Sports Journalism, Sportswriting, Writing
I can see the flames growing in your journalistically pure eyes. And they’re hot, I know.
But before you send me the worst virus ever created, give me a few sentences.
I have a hardcore habit of using “I” in everything I write. The way a lot of people go about it makes them look arrogant and as if they know more about what they’re covering than their reader.
However, sometimes I try to apply the Hunter S. Thompson rationale to the issue. I believe writers cannot be absolutely ‘objective’ in stories or else it’s completely bland. This said, why not tell the reader where you’re coming from when you describe something like crowd or player reaction, a team’s energy, or a player’s rhythm. Sure, a column is the place for stuff like that, but, if not tastefully, I think it can enrich a story a bit.
The inverted PYRAMID should not restrict one’s ability to describe a scene. If you write about the experience, what you sensed, saw, heard, etc. there is no need for “I.” It’s like using “I think. . .” on a message board. Of course you think that — you’re posting it. If in a story you are describing the scene based on someone else’s reactions, you would cite that. But for the most part, you are describing the scene as you saw it, and readers know that.
Just don’t ever, EVER use “this sportswriter.” That’s annoying. Hell, or the ultimate copout of “we.” It’s your story, and everyone knows that.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Florida, immigrants, Lake County, sun, teachers, Troy, weather
10.) It’s 89 degrees right now. In November. VERY not normal.
9.) The weather is wacked up. We have two seasons: summer and winter. Summer here is for nine months of the year, sometimes ten, and winters come overnight and leave overnight. One day, it will be 98 degrees, and the next, 57 degrees. That, and the fact that the sun sets at around 9:30 at night in the summer, and 5:30 in the winter.
8.) (I’m going to get flamed for saying this, but) THERE ARE TOO MANY ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS HERE. I don’t have a problem with the legal ones, but I’m talking about the ones that are fresh off the orange truck. I know, I know, conditions in Mexico are hard, and they just want to make a life for themselves, but frankly, the majority of them aren’t doing such a hot job. I know for a fact that my neighbors are illegal (there are about 20 people living in that house as of now), and they really bug me. It would be different if they were looking for a job, or trying to communicate with people, but no. They sit in their garages, smoke cigarettes, have house parties at 3 in the morning, talk about people in Spanish, and they’re just annoying in general. End rant.
7.) I live in Lake County, but we can’t swim/fish/boat/etc. in any of the lakes (except for this one behind my house that the county doesn’t know about. Yet).
6.) People are nosy as hell. On Tuesday, I had to go to a payphone to call Troy, and people stared at me like I was a criminal the whole time. It isn’t the first time, either. Like I said, I usually ride my bike and/or walk wherever I need to go, and people look at me like I’m a delinquent for wanting to save gas and make the world a better place for future generations. I seriously feel like watching this town burn, sometimes.
5.) In Florida, they have this law that lets ANYONE who went to college and got a degree in SOMETHING to be a teacher. They’re called “out-of-field teachers”, and they’re pretty much all dumbasses who couldn’t get a job elsewhere. This wouldn’t really affect me, because most of them don’t know how to use gradebook (meaning everyone passes with an A. Haha.), but my mom went to teaching school for 4 years AND got a degree in Science, and, in her first year of searching for a job, she got passed over countless times for “out-of-field teachers”. One of the schools that refused to hire her was the elementary school that both my sister and I went to for 6 years of our lives. Now, she has to drive 35-40 minutes out of town just to get paid LESS than “out-of-field teachers”. It’s fucking bullshit.
4.) While we’re on the subject of schools, the county recently tore down Minneola Elementary, rebuilt it, then built ANOTHER school (Sawgrass Bay Elementary) right next door to it (USING OUR TAX DOLLARS). I kid you not. If I was enrolled in Minneola Elementary School, and I had a friend enrolled in Sawgrass Bay Elementary, and I wanted to talk to them, all I’d have to do is yell their name, and they would hear me. That’s how close they are.
3.) There is a Starbucks, Chick-Fil-A, and a McDonalds right next to each other. Just in case, I guess.
2.) Charlie Crist lives here.
1.) Troy doesn’t live here.
